so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
