It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
