I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
