Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
