I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
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