did you get engaged???
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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