God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
