If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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