how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
