to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
