Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize