My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
