new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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