I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
