It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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