Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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