I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize