well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I have tasted many bathrooms
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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