stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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