I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
