Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
