the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
