you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
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