It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
