dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
