Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
