I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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