Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I can't put those talents on a resume
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
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