dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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