Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
