The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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