I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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