I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
