Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
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