Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
