Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
