I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
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