Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
