He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
