using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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