You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Randomize
