I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize