everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
He better not be in your backpack
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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