In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
i just google imaged poop.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
