I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Randomize
