Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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