the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
