you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
