I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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