Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
