I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
do herpes really smell.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
