you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
