Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
This toilet bowl is my home.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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