We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
