So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
