The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
