HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
