im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
