The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
